28 Feb
Things by which Olivia has been upset, in the last three days alone:
13 Feb
Ava: “I am going to start a new morning routine. I’m going to get up when you and Dad get up. I’m going to get dressed really fast. Then, I’m going to work out for a bit, have some breakfast and then read the paper. Maybe have a cup of decaf coffee. We do have decaf, right?”
7 Feb
Bryan made mention of “his son” last night, and I noted we’d have all kinds of new phrases to throw around after this baby’s born. I told him that I still remembered how remarkable it was the first time I said, “I’m Ava’s mom,” as I walked into the NICU the day after she was born.
Bryan responded, “I remember the first time I said that as well.”
For a moment, I thought he meant the first time he said, “I’m Ava’s dad,” but then I recalled this conversation from last week, held shortly after Bryan dropped Ava off at a classmate’s birthday party:
Bec: “How did the drop off go? Did you meet Sophie’s mom?”
Bry: “Yeah. I introduced myself as ‘Ava’s mom.'”
Bec (laughing hysterically): “What!? Did you correct yourself?”
Bry: “No…”
30 Jan
Ava: “Mom, your dinners always look good, but they don’t always taste good.”
—
Ava: “The reason we do what you say is because we’re scared of you.
Liv: “Yeah, you’re scary!”
24 Jan
Olivia: Hey Mom, I know all the continents, Mom. London, New York City, um….KANSAS, Wisconsin….JULY, annnnnd syrup.
16 Jan
Ava, in a colossal understatement: “I have a lot of questions.”
Olivia: “If you stand on a mountain to talk to the moon, you might hear an echo.”
15 Dec
Bec: “Did you have a good day, Liv?”
Olivia: “Yes, I did! Jack didn’t even bite me today.”
Bec: “…what? Wow.”
Olivia: “Yeah, NOBODY bited me today!”
7 Nov
Ava: “Mom, if you got runned over by a car, and Dad was in Russia, who would pick us up from school?”
Bec: “What?! Why?”
Ava: “I just want to know. If you got runned over, and Dad was in Russia, WHO?”
Bec: “Well, I suppose Monica. Or Tom.”
Ava: “How would they know to pick us up?”
Bec: “I’d call and ask them to.”
Ava: “How EXACTLY would you do that? You’d be smooshed.”
Liv: “YEAH. You’d be SMOOSHED.”
Ava: “Your phone would be smooshed.”
Bec: “. . . I wouldn’t be that smooshed. I could still call. What exactly have you been watching on that iPad?”
Ava: “Mom. That’s what happens when you get runned over. You get smooshed.”
Bec: “I promise I won’t get runned over. I am very careful around cars.”
Ava: “But just in case, Monica or Tom, right?”
30 Sep
A totally typical conversation between Olivia and Bryan, overheard early this morning…
Olivia: “Hey Dad, do you remember when I throwed up all over Mom’s car, Dad?”
Bryan: “Yes, I do.”
Olivia: “Hey Dad, I just farted, Dad.”
Bryan: “I heard you. Hold still, please. There’s something blue in your ear.”
Olivia: “That’s paint, Dad. I have blue paint in my ear, Dad.”
Bryan: “I see that, Liv.”
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