Smith Family Weblog

It’s Throwback Thursday, and while this isn’t throwin’ it back very far, let me share one of the highlights of our trip to Minnesota last summer: the annual Ward Springs Fourth of July Parade. This year, for the first time, we were IN the parade, instead of on the sidelines.

The people and places in these photos are among my very favorite, and they make my heart swell. Thanks, Mom and Gramma and Grampa Great, for another trip I’ll never forget. I love you!

Santa visited Diane’s last week, bearing gifts for current and former daycare charges. He knew each little one by name, though some were more skeptical of him than others.

Thanks, Santa (and Diane, too!).

Olivia, to Rebecca: “Ava is so mean. Why did you have her? I mean, I enjoy Owen, but Ava, UGH.”

Our family joined us at Smiths’ for Livie’s seventh birthday pajama party last week. We had a blast hanging out and celebrating. Here are a few photos from the evening.

After the party, the Smith cousins spent the night. They watched movies and shared popcorn and snacks Karyl prepared. The next party continued the next morning with chocolate chip pancakes.

Happy birthday, Olivia!

My grandfather, Lyle Dankleff, served in the US Army in Korea. He passed away in September, and his military services were heart wrenching. I’m grateful for the young cadets who served as Honor Guards, as well the veterans responsible for the 21-gun salute. The entire experience made me incredibly proud of our collective past and future.

As we mark Veterans Day, I’ll share below the remarks I made at Grandpa’s funeral.

Thank you so much for joining us here today. I very much appreciate the opportunity to share a few thoughts about my grandfather, Lyle Eugene Dankleff.

Grandpa was born to John and Bernice on November 14, 1932. He attended Avoca High School, and graduated as valedictorian, earning a regents scholarship to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

He met my grandmother, Carol Ann Wallen, shortly there after. She believes she first saw him at Rich Norris’ home, but he said he’d noticed her much before, at a dance in the old Unadilla town hall.

Grandma wrote, “We were both so completely smitten with each other, without saying anything, we knew we would marry. There was never anyone else for either of us.”

They were married before Grandpa began his service in Korea as part of the U.S. Army.

Though they spent their first years of marriage apart, they wrote letters to each other—every day. She kept at hand a photo of an astonishingly handsome young man in a military uniform, while he tucked a tattered and creased photo of a stunningly beautiful young woman into the pocket of his military uniform the entire time he was overseas. Looking at these images now, these two portraits alone made it quite easy understand exactly how and why this began.

But my own understanding if their 50 year love affair started much later, as their third generation.

When you lose a grandparent, you don’t just mourn for that person. You mourn for your childhood and your family, and so if you’ll indulge me for a moment…

I grew up a mile and a half from Grandma and Grandpa’s farm. We were fortunate to have ample time there—all four of us, and to see how they worked together to take care of their land.

At home, Grandpa would drink coffee all day, thick with sugar and cream–whittling us spinning tops and teaching us rhymes and riddles from his wooden rocking chair. Heady pipe smoke would curl up from behind his paper, and his glasses would slide down in his nose as he peered over at us.

He taught us about birds and sundogs and weather aphorisms I still believe today. He was patient and kind to us, as even the strictest of parents are, I suppose, once they become grandparents. He showed his lily gardens, pointing out the different varieties, and let us play for hours in the barn while he worked on machinery nearby.

I noted in the obituary that Grandpa worked tirelessly for nearly 60 years, well past the point where it was necessary–or wise–for him to so. His first attempt at retirement failed, and when I asked why, he replied, “Retirement was supposed to have been a joint venture.”

Losing Grandma was heartbreaking, and I don’t believe he was ever the same. And, so, his work continued.

He was stubborn and unyielding, especially in the last years of his life. But that’s likely what saw him through difficult years prior – years that drove other farmers to find far more reasonable and predictive ways to make a living. Thanks to his perseverance, though, the legacy of that farm is a part of each of us.

If Grandma were here, and a million times I’d wished she was, to guide us through tragedies and celebrations of holidays and weddings and babies – if were here today, she would say, “Take good care of each other.”

She’d be so pleased with my Dad and Rose, and Greg, all of whom took exceptional care of my Grandpa, making decisions with his health and his heart in mind, allowing him to live the life he wanted to for as long as absolutely possible. Each step was painful, these last few years, but each difficult decision was made in good care for Grandpa.

And now, he is—at long, long last—truly at rest. I believe they are once again together, taking good care of each other.

Last month, we met the Smith family in South Dakota for a weeklong vacation. We stayed in the Black Hills—my first time in the southwest corner of the state. My brother-in-law Josh is from Spearfish, and served as a thoughtful guide as we visited Mt. Rushmore, Cave of the Winds and other incredibly gorgeous areas of his home state. Doug has a great photo set online–check it out here. 

This might be one of my favorite shots from the entire trip—all eight cousins in a row: 

The 1880s train was definitely a highlight, especially for Owen…

This was the moment he realized we were actually on a train. (The caption, obviously, is “Holy shit!”) 

Thanks, Smiths, for a trip filled with unforgettable firsts!

Today marks the first day of school. Ava’s starting fourth grade, and Olivia first. My mom was here this morning to enjoy the blueberry pancakes, photos and general chaos. 

Ava didn’t stay by our side long at school—she immediately reconnected with her girlfriends. 

Here she is with her teacher and two of her very best friends. I questioned the seating arrangements, but Mom pointed out they’d likely be fixed in short order this morning. 

Olivia felt a bit more trepidation than Ava. She wore the quartz necklace she gave me for Mother’s Day to calm her, and Sleeping Bunny was tucked into her backpack. She’s nervous about her teacher, and she doesn’t have many friends in her class (yet…). 

I trust she’ll do just fine. 

We kicked off the weekend with a trip to the Farmer’s Market with Katie and Tom. Up next: gymnastics, then boating with a friend for Ava and a playdate with Cleo for Livie.

Owen’s plans include a long nap, while I spend some quality time with the deck.

What’s on your itinerary today?

Olivia always has the BEST bedhead.