Smith Family Weblog

Ava, upon noting one of the first extended periods of silence in our house since 2005: “Hey, where’d all that quiet come from?”

Ava: Mom, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I found my roly poly. The bad news is that he’s dead.

Ava: I’m going to be a doctor and a mom and a crabby patty maker. I’m going to squeeze out the whole “being a princess” part so that I have more time to spend with you.

Ava, after a trip to the supermarket: “Mom, how do you make money?”

Mom: “How do I make money, or how is money made?”

Ava: “How is money made?”

Mom: “Well, certain types of money are made with metal, and certain types are made with paper and ink.”

Ava: “Who makes it?”

Mom: “The government.”

Ava: “So when you work really hard the government gives you money for doing a good job?”

Mom (silently contemplates covering the whole state employee thing while deciding to skip right over the part about taxes): “Yes, kind of. My employer gives me money when I do my job.”

Ava: “Where does your employer get the money from?”

Mom: “Um, well, through tuition, I suppose, which students pay to go to school there.”

Ava: “And where do the students get the money?”

Mom: “With the money earned through their own jobs.”

Ava: “But where does that money come from?”

Mom: “You know what? I bet Daddy would really like to help answer some of these questions. Let’s ask him when we get home.”

After she confessed to being less-than-kind to a friend at a birthday party yesterday, I chastised Ava and insisted she be nice to everyone. Here’s the ensuing exchange.

Ava: “Well Ginger did it too!”

Mom: “Well if Ginger jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too?

Ava, after a long pause and with much conviction: “Yes.”

It was my first time throwing out an old-school retort like that, and it failed miserably. Too early?

After another extremely hectic week, I opened my eyes this morning to find Bryan setting a cup of coffee on my nightstand, tearing off my covers and flipping on the lights. Apparently, it was 9:30, and 9:30 is TIME TO GET UP.

I came downstairs to find Ava campaigning for a trip to the zoo.

“It’s too cold.”

“The animals went south for the winter.”

“I am not sure the zoo even opens until May…”

Really, though, the reason for sticking around here today is that a weekend at home with no real plans is very rare. And, besides, “no real plans” doesn’t mean we don’t have errands, chores and projects held over from the week.

As Ava bellowed, “It’s my weekend day” over and over, I stopped her and said, “Hey, it’s my weekend day, too.”

At that, she announced that she simply could not live in this house any more, and she was moving. She started to pack up her DVDs, and I reminded her those belonged to our family, and she’d have to leave them for Olivia. She stomped her feet and growled, proclaiming us the most BORING. FAMILY. EVER. (Sometimes it’s hard to remember she’s going to be five and not 13.) “I can’t take it anymore!” she cried.

In an effort to distract her from packing (and to allow myself to return to reading the newspaper quietly), I said, “Here, let me read you your horoscope: ‘Aries: If you feel like taking off, the sooner the bet . . . um, you know what? Nevermind.”

Hope you all enjoy your “weekend days” too!

Ava: Dad, can we PLEASE get a puppy?

Dad: No.

Ava: Pretty please with sugar and spices AND HAM on top?