Olivia: “Mom, what kind if surgery do you need when you swallow an earring?”
—
For the record, she swears she didn’t actually swallow anything. Perhaps she was just thinking about it?
Archive for the ‘Overheard’ Category
10 Aug
Overheard: Pot/kettle edition
Olivia, regarding Owen: “I think he has some issues to work out.”
2 Aug
Overheard, with an update.
Ava: We need to remember to lock all the doors when we leave. There have been a lot of burglaries in town lately.
Bec: What?! How do you know that?
Ava: I read it in the news.
Bec: You read the news?
Ava (patiently, but with a tone that indicates she finds her mother rather dense): Well, yes, Mom. I read the newspaper every morning.
—
I should add that this conversation was of note because I’ve been rather worried about this as well. Someone has been breaking in to homes while residents sleep inside, which isn’t exactly a comforting thought when you’re up with a newborn at 2 am. Every little noise raises alarm, especially when you spend roughly four hours a day watching Criminal Minds.
However, I just logged onto the local news site and discovered there’s been an arrest in the case. I shared this with Ava, thinking it might put her little mind at ease, too. Olivia overheard our exchange, and asked if the man would be in jail forever.
Ava responded, “No, just until he learns you can’t burgle.”
16 Jul
Overheard: New baby edition
Olivia, while observing a diaper change for the first time: “Oh my goodness, LOOK WHAT OWEN HAS!”
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Ava, shortly after Owen’s cord fell off, and upon hearing me say the whole process of nourishing a baby in utero is really amazing: “Actually, it sounds more like a magic trick.”
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Olivia, as she snuggled up next to me and Owen: “You sure are a lucky mommy.”
25 Jun
Overheard
All day Sunday, Olivia asked me to cut the tag from the haunch of a stuffed white rabbit. This isn’t a new find, but this bunny has become increasingly popular with Liv lately—he even joined us at a matinee showing of Brave on Saturday.
Olivia had to remind me of this task a few times over the course of the day, and when I finally obliged, I pulled out the scissors and asked her hand me her bunny. She turned him over to me, shielded her eyes, and yelled:
“I CAN’T WATCH.”
Thankfully, the bunny made it.
29 Apr
Overheard: The “I’m only 30 weeks” edition
Various comments directed at me this weekend:
From a shop owner on Mass Street, after learning this is my third: “Let me tell you something no one else will: ALL OF YOUR BABYSITTERS WILL QUIT.”
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A college student who appeared to be 14, though I am sure was old enough to legally consume the drink in her hand: “I just love that you’re pregnant and wearing heels. Like, seriously, I love that.”
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A woman at the capital campaign kickoff, also upon learning this is my third: “We had three. BUT THEN WE STOPPED. Do you know how expensive college is?” (By the way, my reply here was, “Yes, I do, and that is why the University of Kansas announced a $1.2 billion fundraising campaign 20 minutes ago…”)
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Another woman I met at the kickoff: “Oh my goodness! Must be any day now—I hope you make it through this event!”
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One of the interns in my department: “When are you going to start maternity leave?” (My response: “About 12 hours after I go into labor.”)
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Me, at the grocery store’s meat counter today: “Shhhhh.”
It took me a moment to realize I didn’t have my kids with me, and I had inadvertently shushed a grown woman. A LOUD woman, but still.
10 Apr
Turnabout is fair play
Ava: “Dad, let me show you proof that leprecauns are real.”
Bryan: “Oh, I know they are. They live with the Easter Bunny in the summer and Santa in the winter.”
9 Apr
Overheard
Olivia, as she prepared for a trip to the park: “Can I wear a necklace?”
Bec: “Sure.”
Olivia: “And a bracelet?”
Bec: “Yep.”
Olivia: “And a CROWN?”
3 Mar
Overheard: Party planning edition
Olivia: “Mom, on my 16th birthday, I want a real, live unicorn pet and a purple hamster.”
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